


We're Not Alone Here

by Amateur_Warden



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Cloud Strife Is A Father, Denzel Needs A Dad, Idk what i'm doing, coincidence???, i just wanna see them happy, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:20:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23557465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amateur_Warden/pseuds/Amateur_Warden
Summary: I love Denzel. He's so cute. And Cloud can make an awesome dad sometimes. Here's how their relationship started, and progressed. Originally posted to ff.net in 2010.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter was posted to ff.net in 2010. Chapter 2 was posted to ff.net in 2016. Third chapter I wrote now in 2020. Sorry if they sound so drastically different, and apologies for anything just WEIRD that either didn't age well or was a product of a teen's mind suffering from internalized misogyny. Did my best to catch those but I might have missed a few.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of how Denzel ran into Cloud. Descriptions and dialogue taken directly from the anime and novel Case of Denzel.

_ It was a relatively nice day in Sector 5, with the sun shining, and birds flying in the sky. Though the only reasons Denzel could see the sun and the birds were the gaping holes in the Plate above him.  _ There are probably more holes than Plate left standing up there... _ he thought. That's usually what happens when things are hit with tremendous force-they break. Duh. Anyway, it was a nice day. But the warm sun and the sound of birds isn't what brought Denzel to Sector 5 today. Well, it may have been, but he didn't really know anymore. Really, he was just wandering around, looking for food. _

_ He was starving. When was the last time he'd eaten anything? Oh well, it didn't matter. He was still alive, right? He was beginning to doubt even that, given all of the things that had happened lately. First the Plate being dropped on Sector 7, then the whole Meteor crisis that destroyed most of Midgar... now Geostigma. Not to mention his only friends had either died or abandoned him. It all made food trouble seem just a little insignificant. _

_ All the crap going on was making it really hard to smile. There was absolutely nothing to be happy about. Well, maybe the sun, but that's it. The only reason there weren't any black clouds, and a giant Plate above him was Meteor. And with Meteor had come the end of life as the world knew it. Shinra was destroyed, along with the entire city. It seemed the giant piles of rubble, and the broken Plate were the only remnants of the great city. And Denzel was all alone in it. _

_ He'd never been this truly alone before. At first he had his parents, their friends, his decent life above the Plate... stuff was normal. Then when the Plate dropped, a friend of his father's, Arkham, took care of him for a little bit. He was a very nice man, and he did what he could to care for the boy. And then when Denzel wandered off and got lost, another person was there to help him-Ruvi. She took him back to Denzel's new, and rather bare house, and decided to care for him herself. She took care of him fir the rest of her life, until Meteor. However, even after everything ended, Denzel was able to find friends. Gaskin gave him work, and the other children worked with him to find supplies to build a new city on the outskirts of Midgar. Even after Gaskin died, Denzel still had friends. _

_ But that was months ago. Because of all their hard work, Edge was built very nicely, and grew to the point where an orphanage was set up. Because of its prosperity, people stopped coming to the Secor Seven Search Team for supplies. The kids started to starve, and thus, left for Edge. But Denzel couldn't go there. That stupid coment he made to Rix about eating rats... that ended the search team, and their friendship. He couldn't face Rix again. Even so, why should he bother to go to a place built from the ruins of his home? It would be just like the Slums, wouldn't it? Poor and dirty, full of disease and pollution... there was no reason to. So he stayed in Midgar, wandering around, trying to find some rats. But there were no rats-they probably all died from the pollution and destruction. _

_ So that's how he got here, alone and demotivated from pretty much anything. What reason was there to live anymore, when all of his friends and family were gone, and the ones who were still living didn't want to see him? There was none. So why should he keep going? Well, he was only a little boy to begin with-death was a little scary to him. The unknown was always like that. Maybe it only got worse from then on. So he stayed in this plane of existence, even if it meant he would be alone, and starving to death. _

_ That didn't mean he had to move anymore though. He sat down tiredly, glad to give his aching muscles a rest. Should he keep looking for food? There wasn't anything but rock, dust, and broken girders all over the place. What else was there to hope for?  _ Nothing, Probably. _ he thought to himself. Suddenly he felt something wet on his forehead. That was kind of weird since there was little water around here, and he hadn't been running around in it... he brought his hand up and felt his forehead. When his hand felt wet, he pulled it away, expecting water, or perspiration. _

_ His hand was black. _

_ He sat for a second, staring at it.  _ Great. _ He thought. Was Geostigma out to get him, too? Well, nothing mattered anymore. Maybe it would take him quickly and without much pain. He looked up towards the huge gaping hole in the Plate above him, and noticed a building that looked like it was still standing. What was it, a church? That's what it looked like. He stood up, taking his trusty metal spear along with him. So far it hadn't done much good for hunting, but it did help with climbing and moving pieces of rubble out of the way. _

_ He noticed a bike was parked outside the church, a motorcycle. It looked really shiny and new-something Denzel hadn't seen for over a year. He walked closer, curious as to how it got there. Then he noticed the phone hanging on the handlebars. He smiled, the first in a long time.  _ I'll borrow it for a while. _ he thought.  _ It would be fun it worked. _ He reached across and tried to grab it, but his arms were too short. He walked around to see if the other side would make things easier, and saw that he could just reach in and pull it out. He wiped his dirty hands on his filthy clothes, hoping to keep the shiny phone as clean as possible, then looked around for the owner. When he was there was no one, he reached in and yanked the phone out. _

_ It was a bulky phone, meant for an adult's hands. He stared at the burnished case, wondering what exactly to do with his new found toy. Well, phones were meant to call people, for one. But who would he call? He didn't have anyone... He looked up through the hole in the Plate, thinking.  _ Well, it wouldn't hurt to try. _ he thought. He flipped open the phone and dialed the number for his home in Sector seven. As it dialed, he imagined the phone ringing among the rubble. Maybe someone would find it and pick up. Then he would have someone to talk to. _

_ It only rang once before the phone made up its mind. "Your call to Sector seven cannot be completed at this time. Your call to Sector seven cannot be completed at this time." _

_ Of course it couldn't. The phone he was calling was probably crushed beneath tons of rock and metal, along with everything else he knew. _

_ "Your call to Sector seven cannot be completed at this time." _

_ And his parents, they were probably buried too. If they weren't, they would have come and found him. They loved him that much, didn't they? _

_ "Your call to Sector seven cannot be completed at this time." _

_ They would have hugged him close, and told him everything would be okay, that he wasn't alone in this god-forsaken world. They would never abandon him like everyone else had. They would never, ever let him go. At least, not if they could help it. _

_ "Your call to Sector seven cannot be completed at this time." _

_ He lowered his head and ended the call. That woman's voice was way too happy-sounding for him to stomach. He felt the anger inside of him, just like that time before he met Ruvi. He held the phone up and prepared to smash it on the ground. He wanted to break things, everything. Why should that voice be happy, when he would never again feel joy, or love, or ambition, or even the gentle human contact that every person needed to survive? He hated it. All of it. _

_ "Uhhh!" _

_ He yelled it weakly, both because he was starving, and he had a sudden thought. He looked up at the phone and brought it back down, glad he hadn't smashed it. The owner would probably be mad, anyway. He checked the missed call log for anyone who might be able to help him. Maybe he could find out who the owner of the phone was. As he scrolled down, he noticed one number had been calling the owner an awful lot. Maybe it was someone who really cared about the owner, and who really wanted to talk to whoever that was. _

_ Maybe it was someone who would care, at least a little bit, about Denzel. _

_ He dialed the number for the Seventh Heaven. It sounded like a nice place, at least. Maybe there would be a nice lady on the other end who would talk to him for a while. But wait... he was using this phone without permission. What if the owner saw him? What if the lady wasn't nice at all? He panicked, and right as the phone picked up on the other end, he hung up. His heart pounding, Denzel tried to figure out what to do next. _

_ He didn't have much time to think, because a couple seconds later, the Seventh Heaven called him back. He jumped, frightened. He thought for a moment, as the phone rang. should he pick up? What if the person got mad at him? What if that person scolded him and hated him? What if they just didn't care about him and hung up? He wouldn't know what to do. But then again, none of those outcomes could be any worse than the situation he was in right now. He made up his mind, and accepted he call, slowly bringing the phone up to his ear. _

_ Before he had even brought it up halfway, a voice spoke. It was a woman's voice. It sounded nice. _

_ "Cloud? It's so rare for you to call! Did something happen?" _

_ Denzel stood there for a moment, unable to form words. Cloud? What kind of name was Cloud? Was that the owner of this phone, and the bike? What kind of person was he? Who was this woman who thought she was talking to Cloud? Then he realized he was supposed to say something back. But he wasn't Cloud, so he couldn't speak for that person. He was speechless, but he figured he should make some kind of indication that he was there. _

_ "Uh-" his voice caught in his throat. What was he supposed to say? _

_ The woman sounded concerned. "Cloud?" _

_ Denzel found the courage to actually speak, and decided he just wanted to talk to this woman. She was another person, someone who wanted to listen to him, right now. "No, I'm not." _

_ There was silence for a moment as the woman processed what she had just heard. "Who are you? This is Cloud's phone, isn't it?" She sounded uncertain, as if she had made a mistake. _

_ Denzel knew she was right, that this phone wasn't his. But he didn't know who the hell it belonged to, or who this Cloud was. "I don't know. I don't know what I should do. Please..." his voice trembled, and his eyes began to water. He sniffed, and brought his arm up to wipe his eyes. _

_ The woman heard him. "Are you... crying?" _

_ Denzel didn't know what to do. He didn't have any idea what to do. And he didn't even want to think anymore. He just wanted to sit there and cry, like any normal child would have in his position. He shouldn't have to figure these things out, that's what adults were for! But no, all the adults in his life abandoned him, or died. It wasn't fair. Nothing was fair. He just hoped the woman on the other side wouldn't hang up, and that she would keep talking to him. _

_ Then the pain struck. It hurt more than anything he had ever experienced. His head throbbed, and felt like someone was stabbing him in the brain with a hot, metal stake. He cried out, and held his head, dropping to his knees. The phone slipped from his grasp and clattered to the ground as he gripped his forehead. The woman cried out, worried. _

_ "Is something wrong? Are you okay? Cloud, Cloud! Are you there? Please pick up!" _

_ Denzel couldn't hear her over his own throbbing head. He held his forehead, the root of the pain, and felt a sticky substance.  _ I don't want to die. _ he thought. I just found someone to talk to me, to listen to me and worry about me, I don't want to die yet! Please don't let it be black, don't let it be black... He opened his eyes, and looked at his hands. They were pitch black. Geostigma. _

_ So that's it then. He was infected. There was no cure. He was going to die. Maybe, if he tried to sleep right now, he wouldn't wake up. Then the pain would be gone. Maybe he'd see mom and dad, and Ruvi, and Gaskin, and all of the other people who had cared for him, and died. The thought gave him a shred of happiness in the growing chasm of despair where his heart used to be. He let himself go limp and hit the ground, closing his eyes, hopefully for the last time. _

_ ######## _

_ Cloud was happy. He liked to spend time there in Aerith's church, smelling the fresh scent of flowers and old wood. Is was as if by coming here, he could feel her, be with her once again. But it was never the same. Aerith was dead. So was Zack. He'd never see them again. Even so, being here brought back pleasant memories. Sometimes he felt like he could hear the young woman's voice, her laugh, her motherly tone... _

_ But now it was time to head back. Tifa was probably calling him over and over, like she did. He had taken to leaving his phone outside during his visits, to avoid being disturbed. He'd missed lunch again, but that was usual. Why did she always have to call him? He came home eventually... Nothing could really stop him from getting anywhere, and it's not like Sephiroth was going to pop out and try to kill him again... He stood up from the pew he had been sitting on, brushing off his clothes. He caught a powerful whiff of Aerith's flowers and shut his eyes, breathing in deeply. He wondered how these flowers weren't dead yet, since nobody was taking care of them anymore. He'd try, but he figured he'd just make things worse. They didn't need him. _

_ The doors creaked as Cloud pushed them open, and boomed as he let them go and close themselves. Cloud took a look around, and satisfied that everything was as he left it, he turned to go get his bike. It was right in front of the church, just as he'd left it. He stopped as he heard a voice. _

_ "Cloud, pick up! Please!" _

_ The voice was distorted, like on a phone. It was coming from behind his bike... he rushed over and looked around his beloved Fenrir, and found his phone lying open on the ground. He also found a small child. While both of these developments were puzzling, he figured he should probably pick up. It sounded like Tifa, anyway. He knelt next to the child and picked up the phone. _

_ "Tifa? Is that you?" He hadn't bothered to check who had called. He knew her voice all too well. _

_ "Cloud? Oh thanks the goddess, Is there a boy with you?" _

_ Cloud looked at the boy in front of him. "Yup," he said simply. What else was he supposed to say? _

_ Tifa sounded relieved, albeit a little bit. "Okay, is he okay? What happened?" _

_ How the hell should he know? All he knew was there was a random kid out here who had probably messed with his phone, and prank called Tifa or something. Probably tried riding the bike, too. " I don't know, I just got here." _

_ "Well check! He sounded like he was in pain!" Her voice was frantic. _

_ Cloud rolled his eyes, glad she couldn't see him. He took off his glove and felt for the boy's breathing. It was erratic, but it was there. "He's breathing, but he's not moving." _

_ There was silence on the other end, for once. Cloud secretly relished this. It was rare for her to call him and be talking the whole time. "Is there anyone else there? What about his parents?" _

_ That was a dumb question. What idiot kid would go wandering in the ruins of Midgar-which could collapse at any moment-if they had a nice home, and parents to live with? This kid was probably an orphan, a dumb one at that. Then again, Cloud came here often... he shook the thought away; he didn't want to name himself a hypocrite. "Nope, there's no one here." _

_ Tifa thought for a moment. Cloud focused his attention on the kid in front of him. He didn't look good. Cloud gently rolled him over to see his face, and his eyes grew wide. There was a large black smear on his forehead, and a puddle of black near where his head used to be. Pus oozed down the boy's face like dark tears. Cloud could only stare at the sight. Geostigma had stuck again. _

_ "Poor kid..." _

_ Tifa spoke again. "What? What's wrong?" _

_ Cloud tried to sound calm. Well, he was, actually. There was nothing he could do for the kid. He was going to die, that was that. "He has Geostigma. It looks pretty bad." _

_ Tifa gasped. "No... he's so young..." _

_ Cloud winced.  _ Of course. _ he thought.  _ Diseases don't discriminate by age. It doesn't matter how old you are, it's still deadly. _ He didn't want to think about that anymore. He'd already seen too many die that way. _

_ "Could you... bring him back with you?" _

_ Cloud would have done a double-take if Tifa were here with him. Had he heard right? She wanted him to bring this random kid-a Stigma victim at that-back to the bar with him? It was contagious, right? Was she stupid? He didn't think it was a good idea to ask her using those specific words, so he changed them up a bit. "Tifa, I really don't think that's a god idea-" _

_ "Cloud, he has no one. Are you just going to leave him there to die? How could you do that?" _

_ Great. Now  _ he _ was the bad guy? The last time he checked, he never hurt anyone without reason. He just wasn't a bad guy. And this kid... he had a reason to leave the kid behind. He was deadly. He didn't want Tifa to get hurt. And Marlene... Barret would destroy him if he knew Cloud was the cause of their pain. He wasn't going to let anything happen to them. He would protect them from whatever tried to hurt them. "Tifa, really, it's not-" _

_ "Please Cloud. Don't make me come down there myself and drag you both back here, because I will. If you leave that boy there, you're no better than Shinra!" _

_ A pang of guilt hit him. What she said was offensive, but true. Shinra didn't care about the sick or hurt. Especially the contagious. If anything was dangerous to the company, it was eradicated. It was good that the company was destroyed a year ago, along with everything else. But now, if Cloud left this kid here... _

_ "Alright. But be careful around him, okay?" _

_ Tifa was smiling. "Thank you, Cloud. Hurry, okay?" _

_ "Gotcha." Cloud hung up. _

_ He knelt there, hesitant. Then he sighed. "Great. Okay, okay. I'll do it." He reached over and pulled the boy up under his armpits, and lifted him into the air. "Geez, you don't weigh anything, do you?" He turned and set the boy onto the back of his bike, making sure he could hold himself up. He noticed the boy wasn't really all there, that his eyes were vacant. "Tifa said to take you home kid." He turned and threw his leg over the side of the bike, settling himself in front. "Grab on." _

_ He felt something thump against his back, and figured it was the boy. He turned his head to look as he heard whimpers come from the boy's mouth. He figured the boy was too weak to hold on himself, so he drew his arm back and grabbed the boy's hand, pulling it in front of him, keeping the child secure. He felt the boy's hand shaking, and looked down. The whimpers continued, and Cloud's eyebrows furrowed in sympathy. It must have been painful. _

_ He really didn't want to bring the boy back with him. It would just be one more person he wasn't able to save. But, well, Tifa was very convincing when it came to these things, and not giving up. He sighed. "Alright, let's get you home." _

  
_ He revved the engine and sped off towards Edge, leaving the church behind.  _ Well, maybe it's hopeless. _ he thought. Maybe there is no cure. But that's no reason to stop trying, right? Maybe there was a chance he could save someone for once. He smiled at the thought. _


	2. Self-Imposed Responsibility (Cloud is a guilty dad)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud bring kid home. Denzel's not havin a good time. Cloud realizes he has Feelings. Posted originally to ff.net in 2016.

Tifa stood nervously biting her lip, her arms crossed over her chest. It had been thirty minutes since that call, and she couldn't help but worry about that boy. Hundreds of people had died from Geostigma since it had appeared the year before, and nobody had found a cure. There wouldn't be much they could do for the boy except keep him comfortable and treat his symptoms. Tifa had gotten out a bowl of water and some towels, and gotten the guest room ready to receive another occupant. When the little girl staying with them noticed Tifa bustling about, she'd offered to help.

"Who is Cloud bringing, Tifa?" Marlene asked, her eyes wide as she carried a few towels.

Tifa set down a large bowl of water on the nightstand. "A little boy he found in the Midgar ruins. There wasn't anyone around to help him, so we're taking care of him."

Marlene frowned, troubled. "Is he hurt?"

Tifa pursed her lips nervously. Marlene understood that people were sick, but she'd never been directly exposed to someone with the sickness. "He has Geostigma, Cloud says."

Marlene gasped, her little voice heartbroken. "That's really bad!"

Tifa nodded, sadly. "He's sick. So we need to help him get better, okay?"

Marlene was too young to truly understand the gravity of the situation, and Tifa was glad for that. The little girl nodded in determination and went to the guest room to help get it ready for their guest.

Tifa now stood waiting out in the bar for Cloud to arrive, tapping her foot absently. She was always waiting for the blond these days. He hardly spent any time with her, or Marlene. His delivery service had taken off quite nicely, and it took him as far as Junon sometimes, but even though he had little time to spare he liked to run off and just be by himself. He never picked up his phone, or called back. She didn't even know if he listened to her many, many messages she left him. Probably not, she thought to herself, with a taste of annoyance. Why wouldn't he just talk to her once in a while? Was there something bothering him that made him run off all the time? Why wouldn't he talk about it with her? She was annoyed, even though she knew she shouldn't be. Wasn't she being just a little clingy towards him?

"Urgh, why is he so complicated?" she said in frustration. "And I thought women were complicated..." Cloud had never voiced his feelings toward Tifa. Was she still just a friend to him? It seemed that way. He had never said it out loud, but Tifa could tell that Cloud had cared deeply for Aerith. Maybe he'd even loved her, she didn't know.  _ He still loves her, even now that she's gone, _ she thought.  _ He'll never get over her.  _ It made her sad to think how he'd lost someone he loved so much, but it was even more saddening to know that he wouldn't go to her for comfort.

Cloud hadn't sounded too concerned on the phone, but Tifa wondered how he was handling this. Either he was completely fine, or he was hiding how helpless he really felt. Cloud wasn't a doctor, and he often freaked out when he couldn't do anything to help someone. She hoped he didn't run off when he needed her most.

That meat-head... she thought. He didn't feel right if he couldn't beat the problem over the head, or slice it in two.

She was pulled from her reverie by the front doors swinging open. She gasped, startled, but was glad to see Cloud walk in carrying a little boy. She rushed over to assess the situation.

"Is he alright?" she asked, worriedly.

Cloud shrugged. There wasn't much to say; the kid was unconscious in his arms, and Cloud was no doctor. "I dunno."

Tifa bit her lip. "We made up the guest room for him. Up here." She turned to the stairs and ascended.

Cloud raised an eyebrow. Why was she showing him where her guest room was, when he'd been living in her house for more than a year? It just seemed unnecessary. But he shrugged it off, knowing that if he voiced his opinion, it would probably start a stupid and pointless argument between them. He followed obediently, carefully supporting the sleeping child in his arms.

Marlene moved aside as the two adults passed. She stared at the boy in Cloud's arms, curious. "What's wrong with him?" she asked, when they entered the room being used to house their new guest.

Tifa didn't like keeping information from the little girl. However, given the boy's condition, letting Marlene know the details could cause more problems than were bearable at the moment. Besides, nobody really knew how to explain Geostigma. So, she had to improvise, and hope the girl was satisfied. "We don't know for sure, but we will soon enough." She smiled.

Marlene was silent. It looked as though she took the bait, but wasn't entirely assured.

Cloud set the boy down on the bed as gently as possible, so as not to wake him. While Tifa scurried around, moving things out of the way and getting ready to house another person for a while, Cloud watched the boy. He was still, his chest hardly rising and falling to show he was alive and breathing. The only way Cloud could tell that he was indeed still alive was his fever, and how warm he had felt in Cloud's arms only seconds before. It was a lot different than the first part of the trip home, when the kid couldn't stop shaking.

Tifa moved around him to start nursing the boy, grabbing a towel and dunking it in the water, then wringing it out to gently use on the boy's forehead. "Thank you for bringing him here, Cloud. He looks miserable."

Cloud frowned. "Do you think you should be touching him like that?"

Tifa glanced back at him, glaring. "You were touching him all over, and you weren't at all afraid, right? Someone has to take care of him."

Cloud continued to frown as Tifa did her best to wipe away the grime from the boy's face and arms, and make him more comfortable. It was true, he hadn't been worried about himself. But they said the disease was contagious, and he couldn't live with himself if Tifa fell ill. "Just… be careful." He turned to leave and saw Marlene peeking around the door pane into the room. "Let me know if you need anything," Cloud called back, without looking. He slipped past Marlene and ruffled her hair, to which she scowled, upset that he'd messed up her hair.

Cloud walked across the hall to his room, closing the door behind him and stripping off his harness. Why had he taken the boy home with him? It wasn't as if he'd helped any other children suffering from the disease before. There wasn't anything he could do. But when he found a kid all by himself in the ruins of Midgar, of all places, taking the kid home was suddenly the right thing to do. He knew that Tifa wouldn't have accepted any different, and he probably couldn't bring himself to leave the kid behind, either.

At least the children in Edge were surrounded by people, sometimes friends and family. This kid had been wandering around in Sector 5 all by himself. Cloud couldn't help but think there was a reason for that, and it made his insides churn with discomfort.

He'd been alone like that, when he was a kid. He was the weird kid with no dad and terrible social skills who was always creeping on Tifa, and other boys figured those were perfect reasons to start fights. Cloud had thought so too, he supposed; he started a lot of the fights himself. At least from what he could remember, of course.

He didn't even remember the experiments he'd gone through. He was unconscious the whole time, and after Zack had pulled them out it was all a blur. He remembered walking sometimes, but he never knew where he was. After Tifa helped pull him out of the Lifestream-after that debacle at the Northern Crater-those memories never returned, so he figured he wasn't even conscious for most of that year Zack dragged him around. The rest was only beginning to come back to him, even after a year.

He knew who he was, and he remembered the incident at Nibelheim. He remembered Zack broke them out and pulled him to safety, and a few moments during that time. He remembered that Zack was his best friend, and the only person he really cared about besides Tifa. Then everything he did after waking up at the train station in Sector 7 he remembered perfectly. So everything that he was conscious for after they broke out of Nibelheim was intact.

But everything before that was still pretty much shattered. He remembered a few moments while he was in the army, but everything else was a blur. He remembered growing up with his loving mother, being angry at other boys and sad that Tifa's father hated him, then seeing Sephiroth in the paper and deciding to join SOLDIER… but it all seemed like it belonged to someone else. He had no emotional connection to anything that wasn't Tifa, or his mother. Even his feelings about his mother were dulled, and he had trouble remembering her face.

He was still pretty screwed up. Tifa had helped him piece together the important events that put together his identity when he'd had that mental breakdown, but everything else was still coming back. One of the biggest blows to his psyche was that he couldn't remember most of the days he'd spent with his best friend. He felt the happiness he'd felt from the few memories he recalled, and the overwhelming longing and the loss from his death, but most of the memories were missing. He hadn't even remembered the day he met Zack until recently.

All he knew was that the day Zack died, he was so heartbroken that his mind couldn't handle it, and it shattered. He was only barely coping with it now. Aerith's meaningless death hadn't helped at all, either.

He'd let the two people he loved more than anything die right in front of him. He told himself to get over it, that he wasn't helping anyone moping around like this, but it wasn't something his head could control. No matter how strong he was physically, he would always fear losing those he loved.

Luckily, he'd destroyed every trace of Sephiroth there was, and Shinra had been literally leveled to the ground by Meteor. His two biggest opponents were gone, so maybe he could start to be useful for once. Maybe that's why he took the kid home with him, to show that he could save just one person. There was that, and the self-imposed similarity between himself and the boy, and the weird coincidence that he'd found him at the church in Sector 5.

He knew Aerith was gone. He'd felt her leave this world, in his own arms. But sometimes, he could still hear her when he visited the church. Maybe she was talking to him, or maybe he was crazy, but it helped him cope with the fact that he'd let her be brutally murdered and done nothing to stop it. He liked to think she was still there with him, guiding him, because he had no idea how to guide himself.

Maybe she'd guided the boy to the church because she knew Cloud could help him. Maybe it was all crazy bullshit Cloud came up with himself so he wouldn't feel so lost. Either way, he hoped he could at least do something for the boy.

He pushed all the weird, crazy thoughts away to make way for thoughts about how to socialize correctly. Tifa was calling him, and he was still terrible at dealing with children.

########

Tifa had called him to watch the boy while she went and bought some supplies. He had offered to go, but she'd given him this look that screamed, 'Would you really know what to look for, Cloud?' He'd relented, albeit defensively. He could read a list, at least! He didn't always know what they meant, but he could find things on a shelf.

He sighed. The kid hadn't moved, and Marlene was restless. They'd asked her to stay out of the room for now, and the two adults were busy and she had nobody to play with. Occasionally she pouted from the doorframe, wanting to see the new boy who had entered their household.

Cloud was stuck between two children with no experience on how to handle them. Marlene was an easy child, luckily, and she didn't press. Usually. If she decided to cry, he would have no idea what to do. And this new boy hadn't even moved, so that was easy to deal with. He sat and read a book while he waited, not even absorbing any of the material.

He didn't keep an eye on the clock, but when the room started to get darker he looked up from the page he'd been staring at for far too long. The sun was setting outside, and Tifa still hadn't returned. Cloud scoffed. Maybe she hadn't known where to find something any better than he would have. That was suggesting he would take as long. Damn. He'd implicated himself.

It was then he noticed a small whimper. Normal people usually didn't recognize small sounds like that right away, but his SOLDIER-enhanced hearing made it easy to tell that the whimper was coming from his right, and that he'd heard the boy make that exact sound earlier when he'd found him on the ground by his bike. He sat forward and turned to look at the child, a little concerned because Tifa wasn't there to help him oh Gaia. "Hey," he said quietly. "You awake?"

The boy opened his eyes. That answered his question. Cloud tried to be as comforting as he knew how, and tried not to think about how he'd scared Marlene the first time he'd met her. "You're safe here. You need anything? Water?"

The boy whimpered again, shifting in pain beneath the covers. "It hurts," he said in a small voice.

Cloud's heart panged at that. Children weren't supposed to be in pain. "I know… Sorry. Hopefully Tifa will be back with painkillers soon." He tried to think of something to get the boy's mind off his pain. "What's your name?" he asked.

The boy didn't answer right away, wincing from the pain in his forehead. "Denzel…"

Cloud nodded. "Denzel. I'm Cloud. I found you at the church in the Midgar ruins."

Denzel frowned, confused. "Church…?"

"You don't remember?" Cloud asked. Denzel shook his head, and Cloud sighed. "That place is dangerous. Do you remember why you were there?"

Denzel didn't answer, still frowning, but not as focused on how much his forehead hurt. Cloud decided to keep talking, in case he noticed again. "Are you one of the orphans?"

Denzel's frown turned downward, sadly, and he nodded. Cloud went on and asked, "Why were you all by yourself? Don't you have any friends?"

Denzel shook his head again, growing less sad and more vacant. Cloud didn't want to think about what had happened to this kid when most of the orphans in the city already had it rough. "Do you have anywhere to go?" he asked. Another shake of the head was his reply.

Cloud was running out of things to say. "That's rough…" he replied, lamely. This is why he should never be around kids.

"Am I gonna die?"

Cloud's gaze shot up. Denzel was looking right at him, his eyes still pained and sad. Shit. He couldn't lie and say the kid was going to be fine. That would be cruel.

Denzel went on. "Will I die like everyone else? Like Ruvie, and Gaskin, and everyone else who got sick. I'm gonna puke black stuff and die." His eyes started to tear up and his lower lip trembled.

Cloud had to say something. He hoped it would help. "No. We're gonna fight it."

Denzel looked confused again, and Cloud went on. "I won't lie, it's gonna suck. It will hurt, and it will feel like nothing is helping. But you aren't gonna die, okay? As long as you keep fighting, you'll live. We're gonna help you. You're safe here."

Denzel sniffed. "But, there's no cure."

"There's no cure that anyone has found. We're gonna keep fighting until we find one, okay?" He put a hand that he hoped was comforting on Denzel's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

Denzel stared, sniffed, and nodded. Cloud relaxed a little, glad that he'd taken the bait. Except that it wasn't really bait. Everything Cloud had said was true. He was going to find a cure for Geostigma to cure Denzel.

It seemed unfair that Cloud suddenly cared when he came into direct contact with an afflicted child, and he hadn't done anything about it before, but this kid had literally collapsed into his life. Maybe this was the world's way of telling him to get his ass up and do something, already. So he hadn't helped before. He was helping now, and that's what mattered.

Cloud asked Denzel mundane things until Tifa came back. Denzel was eight years old, he'd lived on the Sector 7 plate (which Cloud secretly regretted), and he liked typical boy things like motorcycles and airplanes. Cloud tried to think of something nice to get Denzel the next time he went out.


	3. Cloud Is Not A Father Haha... Unless?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud is in no way prepared to be a father. He's not a dad. He's like a guardian at most. But like, even through his damaged mental health, he wants these kids to like him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The incoming FFVII Remake is the entire reason I pumped this out. But the quarantine helps too. Finally a chapter written this century!

After a few days of rest, Denzel was well enough to get out of bed and join the family in their antics. His head still hurt, but the gross gooey discharge hadn’t come back. He knew it probably would, but hopefully not as badly.

He knew people always got worse. There wasn’t a cure. He was sick, and it was going to keep getting worse until his head split open and bled black all over the place. Probably.

He tried not to think about it.

He didn’t  _ feel _ horrible, yet. So he figured as long as he didn’t  _ feel _ like he was dying, then he wasn’t yet. Marlene was really enthusiastic about helping him get better, and he didn’t want her to be sad. She believed that if he kept trying, he would get better, so he decided to try anyway. Even if it didn’t help in the end.

Tifa said if he rested that he would be okay, just like every other sickness. She was always worrying over him, and he didn’t want her to worry, but… it felt nice. It kinda felt like he had a mom again. It felt too good to be true, but she said she wanted him to stay. She wanted him there, and so did Marlene. So he would stay, because what possible reason could he have to leave?

Cloud was.. nice, too. He mostly looked shy, but Denzel understood that. He was shy too, so he didn’t bother Cloud. Marlene said that Cloud was usually really busy and never around, but he stayed home a lot lately. He didn’t talk a lot, but when Tifa was gone Cloud always came to check on him and Marlene. Denzel knew he cared about them, but he was just… shy. He was more like a big brother, and Denzel liked that, too.

Marlene was less forgiving of Cloud’s shyness though, and she pulled him along to play with them sometimes. Denzel was drawing with Marlene on the floor of their room when she went to get glasses of milk for them and came back dragging Cloud by the hand, begging him to join them. Cloud stumbled in behind her, protesting and saying that she was going to make him spill her milk, which sloshed dangerously in her cup. The next minute, Cloud was sitting cross legged on their floor, attempting to draw a dragon for them. 

Marlene said AVALANCHE had fought a dragon before, so he would definitely know what it looked like. Cloud said no, he definitely did not fight a dragon. Zack did that, and it was much too powerful for him. That led to a short explanation of who Zack was (Cloud didn’t say very much, and Denzel didn’t press him) and who AVALANCHE were. Denzel couldn’t really picture everyone Marlene was describing, but he hoped he wouldn’t have to meet Marlene’s dad any time soon. Marlene said he was like a big teddy bear, but Cloud said he was loud and had a gun in place of his arm! He sounded scary. Cloud reassured him and said Barret was strong and a good man, just like everyone else on AVALANCHE. They protected the Planet, so they would never hurt him.

Denzel didn’t really care what Cloud was —whether a dad or a brother— he was just glad Cloud was there. They were a family. He had a family again.

########

After Meteor fell, Cloud latched onto the first livelihood that would support him and Tifa, and anyone else he could help. That ended up being shipping goods all over the continent using a shitty motorcycle he found in an alley amidst the Midgar rubble. He spent most of his free time tinkering with the bike, figuring out how it worked and working with mechanics to see if he couldn’t make something better. It was all he could do after the world had ended just to focus on his deliveries and learning how a motorcycle worked.

He felt like if he just tried, he could have done more. But every time he considered going out and searching for people to help — for orphans that could use directions to loving homes, or people starving in the streets that could have a hot meal if they only knew where to look, if Cloud went and told them because he had a bike and could  _ do _ that if he just tried —he felt all the energy bleed from his veins and his mind seize up, thoughts spiralling around and around telling him that it was pointless, he couldn’t help anyway, people didn’t want him getting in their business anyway.

It was easier to just wait for Tifa to give him orders she received when people found out about their fledgling company. People came to him, and he never refused an order if he could help it. And in his spare time he worked on his bike, trying to figure out the wires and the tubes and slowly learning how to maintain something complicated for once in his life. It kept his mind off of all the things he couldn’t change, all the people he couldn’t save, the nightmares he had frequently of Sephiroth returning  _ again _ to tear everything that he loved away, the fear that nothing he remembered or felt was even  _ real _ because he’d made it up to avoid thinking about something  _ else _ —

He took a deep breath, and let it out slow. He focused on the reflections in the polished metal of his bike in front of him, and the static in his head started to fade. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, but it faded as well and he remembered what he was doing with the wrench in his hand.

He didn’t want to think about Zack. But… he also wanted to remember. He hated thinking about his friend because that ultimately led to the horrible memory of the clifftop fight, but he  _ did _ want to think about the good memories he knew would resurface if he just tried. He wrestled with his feelings and ultimately fell back on his usual coping mechanism: just focusing on the man’s smile. He couldn’t formulate any coherent memories surrounding the smile, but the picture was something he could never forget. When the swirls of guilt and inadequacy threatened to take him over again, he just had to calm down, remember Zack’s smile, and keep working.

It was hard. Tifa worried a lot. But if he even tried to step out of his routine, he’d slip off the deep end again, he knew it. He just had to keep moving until things got easier. Whenever that would be. Time healed wounds, right?

It had yet to heal any wounds.

He tightened the bolt he was working on and gave that negativity one final push. He told himself he was going to be better around the kids. He had to be better, for them. He wasn’t Marlene’s dad, or Denzel’s really, but they depended on him. They didn’t need him breaking down and running off to the church for days on end, as much as he wanted that.

His head was too full, all the time it seemed. He just had to keep moving, and eventually it would stop hurting so badly. Maybe. He flipped the wrench around in his fingers absently, searching for anything else he could tinker with, and he noticed the side door open behind him. He glanced over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows at the little boy standing there. “Denzel? You feelin’ alright?”

Denzel nodded. “Yeah. Tifa went out with Marlene.”

“Ah,” Cloud murmured. He should probably spend more time inside, even if he’d rather not. The day slipped by when he was alone, nothing but his own thoughts as obstacles between him and nighttime’s unconsciousness. If he went inside, he’d have to talk to people and not look like a headcase. He sighed. “So it’s just you? Guess you’re stuck with me for a while.” He tried not to show how averse he was to that, since that wasn’t  _ entirely _ true. He liked being around the kids. He just wished he knew what the hell he was doing, ever.

Denzel nodded again. “You’re working on your bike?”

Cloud blinked, then nodded. “Gotta keep it maintained. I like it nice and lubricated, everything pristine.” He hesitated. “Wanna watch?”

Denzel’s face lit up. Great, good choice. Cloud filed that away for future reference. Denzel spoke excitedly, “Can I help at all?”

Cloud nodded and motioned for the boy to join him, kneeling beside the bike. “I’m almost done, but I can show you what I did.”

He went through his normal routine of what he did after every ride, then went into detail about the newest repair he made, hoping the kid wouldn’t lose interest. Denzel’s eyes never lost their shine, though, even if Cloud didn’t think it was that interesting. He had only learned how to maintain his bike so he could go places, and so he could spend time doing something other than polish his swords. He went into more detail about other parts he wanted to replace once he got enough money, slowly turning the shitty alley bike he found into a custom masterpiece. He felt a little proud. He felt his bad mood slink away into the back of his mind as he focused on the rapt attention of an eight-year-old who for some reason thought he was the coolest person on the Planet.

He paused in his explanation, suddenly feeling adventurous. “Hey. Wanna ride it?”

Denzel actually gasped. “Really!?”

Cloud smirked. “Yeah. With me, of course. I don’t think you could reach the footpegs. Let’s go before Tifa comes back and stops us, huh?”

The overjoyed look on Denzel’s face was enough to banish Cloud’s thoughts entirely. Denzel had been so quiet and reserved, but to Cloud’s relief, Denzel was still a child and could be excited by the prospect of doing something foolish and daring (in the hands of an amateur maybe, but Cloud was an expert driver and Tifa would live). He helped Denzel up onto his bike like he had weeks before when he had just found the boy, made sure he was hanging on tight, and turned out into the city, headed for the highway.

########

“That was  _ so fun,  _ can we do it again soon!?” Denzel laughed, stumbling on unsteady legs before Cloud caught him.

“Hey, careful,” Cloud said. “Tell Tifa I was careful and obeyed the speed limit, and she’ll probably be fine with it.”

Denzel grinned and looked around the bike, examining it some more. He seemed to be feeling just fine these days, not too weak to be a kid. “Hey, what are these for?” Denzel pointed to the compartments at the front of the bike. Cloud’s swords were in his room at the moment, so Denzel wouldn’t know they were housed there usually.

“ You know my sword, the one with all the pieces?” Cloud asked. “I keep them on my bike to fight monsters out on deliveries.” He got out a rag to wipe the dust off his bike and got to work.

Denzel’s mouth dropped open. “You fight monsters? Oh yeah, Marlene said you help protect the Planet. Are there things trying to hurt the Planet?”

Cloud frowned, thinking for a moment. “No, not those monsters. They’re just… out there. I don’t think there are any more big threats to the Planet out there anymore.”

“But it’s still dangerous,” Denzel said. “Aren’t you scared?”

Cloud gave a short chuckle. “Nah. The monsters aren’t that scary. I’m too fast for them to attack me, most of the time.”

“Are you strong?” Denzel’s eyes peered up at him in wonder.

“You’d probably think so, yeah.”

Denzel put his arms up in the air. “Lift me up, show me how strong you are!”

Cloud quirked an eyebrow, then sighed and tossed the rag aside, resigning himself to humoring a child. “Grab onto my arm.” He put his arm outso Denzel could grab onto his bicep, then lifted the child into the air effortlessly.

“Whoa! You only need one arm!?”

“You’re not very big. Tifa can probably lift you with one arm, too.”

“Wow, really!?”

Suddenly, Marlene burst through the door. “You’re lifting!? Me too, me too!”

Soon, Cloud was swinging two children around on his arms, and Tifa was yelling at him to be careful and not throw them. Denzel asked Tifa if she could lift him with one arm too, and she reluctantly joined the shenanigans. She couldn’t lose to Cloud, after all.


End file.
